Great moments in Movie history

Sure there’s the Oscars and the Golden Globes, but their awards are all Best Actor, Best Cinematography etc, but is there a single award for Studliness? I think not! I therefore think it is my duty to rectify this glaring omission by hereby conferring my own Studliness awards – great moments which I feel should not be forgotten in the hallowed annals of film. Here, I capture, in freeze-frame moments, that one single orgasmic moment in various movies:

Hugh Jackman in Kate & Leopold

Yes, I admit Kate & Leopold was an abysmal movie. Meg Ryan looked old and wrinkly, the story was quite lame and full of holes, and the fashion wasn’t exactly very inspiring either. But before you dismiss this movie entirely, please try to recall that one scene where Hugh Jackman leapt onto a horse and pursued a mugger who dared to steal Meg Ryan’s purse. The grandest moment was when Leopold drew himself up in his full splendour atop the horse, with reins in hand, and said to the hapless mugger, “I warn you scoundrel, I was trained at the King's Academy and schooled in weaponry by the palace guard. You stand no chance. When you run, I shall ride, when you stop, the steel of this strap shall be lodged in your brain.” Yes, that is when I gasped, aloud, in the cinema hall in sight of this amazing display of manliness.

Jonathan Rhys-Meyer in Bend It Like Beckham

So, all along in this movie, all you saw was Johnny in his trackies. Not very exciting, you know. A little skinny, rather ordinary. But then, he had to go to Jess’s house to convince her about something or other. Her dad goes to open the door, and there you see Johnny, backlit in the sunlight in a white shirt. And at that exact moment, I swear every single woman in the audience gasped, when he did the ‘hero’ spin-around, like a casual ‘oh I was just looking elsewhere while waiting for you to open the door.’ Just that one moment alone was enough for me to forgive his little poncy swagger while playing cricket at the end of the movie. (I was quite tortured after the movie about his orientation, but thankfully thanks to the magic of google, I have found out that he is reassuringly straight.)

Viggo Mortensern in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy

I have to admit when I first watched Lord of the Rings, I was rather taken with pretty boy Orlando ‘Legolas’ Bloom, then an unknown. And I thought little Frodo was quite cute too. But as I followed the trilogy, I discovered that pretty boys didn’t quite do it for me, it was the manly types that had true studliness and staying power. So this is the man who would be King. He has to go and discover himself, and prepare himself for his destiny, so this makes for lots of brooding, knitting of eyebrows, eye piercing looks and waving of big swords. I cannot pinpoint any one great moment in this trilogy, but be assured there were many, many great moments. Viggo is one man who makes dirty straggly hair look sexy. However, one must note that his sexiness quotient went down once he prettied up as king, with newly-shampooed locks and braided hair (nancy boy!). Give me prefer rugged stubble any day.

James Franco in The Company

Yes, the dancing was fabulous in this movie, but what made this movie fabulouser was James Franco as Neve Campbell’s cheffy boyfriend. Let’s go back to the night when he stayed over her place. She wakes up to find him making her breakfast. Isn’t that just so sweet? But wait, there’s more, not only is he making breakfast, he is making breakfast SHIRTLESS. Yes please, I too want to wake up to a hunky chef boyfriend cutting tomatoes shirtless at my kitchen. Talk about food porn.